No Words Left But Goodbye

I thought I knew everything. I thought I'd never cry...
Everyday. I fill my blank pages with stories of love, hoping that whoever reads it will find hope in their hearts that somewhere, someday, someone's bound to come along their way and love them as they've always wanted.

Whenever I start on a story, I always think optimistic about everything. I always set my mind that my every tale will lead to a happy ending...

At times when I would have wanted to end my stories with tears, my naive heart would interfere. I've long wanted to stop the pattern, thinking that in real life, sad ending to magical beginning happen...

I've been told so many times of problems regarding broken hearts and failed relationships. I could give out advices as easy as I could create a fiction out of nowhere. While I was telling the words as if I was a guru of love, I thought that when their problems become mine, I could easily handle those.

I've travelled more than enough roads in life. I've learned so many from the experiences I had which made me more responsible and taught me when should I set aside my childish nature and act maturely on things.

Maybe I was so engrossed with oh so many aspect of life that I did not see myself inlove until the latter part of my still young life.

It's never easy as I've learned that I can't always get who I want. I often end longing and dedicately wishing for that someone to turn around and realize how much I value him.

Whenever another door opens for me, I take one look and decide quickly. That even befor I started missing a person, he was long gone, maybe in search for another soul who would mend the heart that I broke.

It's absurb but whenever I'm lonely, whenever my heart feels empty and blue, I couldn't tell anyone about it. I keep my emotions to myself, try to hide my tears in my laughter. I don't heal my own wounds. I just let it be, ignore the ugliness and the pain and move on as if nothing happened.

After a time, I'd forget about it. But open wounds refuse to be healed. That it would just come out suprisingly one time and then I'd find myself crying in pain.

Once you give your heart to a person, you should also be ready for the risk that you've getting yourself into. You should think twice, thrice or even a hundred times not only when you want to commit but also before you turn down somebody who's offering his every being.

Not all people who make us feel pretty, cared-for and loved are being true. Yet some of them will leave a mark in our hearts, though not everything will be a beauty.

What hurts the most was when we realize that we have become so blinded for not recognizing true love until it passed us by.

Right now I want to dry my tears and shave a way the pain in a deep slumber. Hoping that I'd wake up one fine day and find that one person I could easily pair w/ my characters in my every tale. Who will make me forget the sorrows of the past and make me look forward to each day with love in my healed heart.

As I lay my pen to rest, feeling like a storyteller who run out of stories to tell, I couldn't utter more for there are no words left for me but...GOODBYE

alix | 11:58:00 PM